Exam Stress

Exam Stress

3 December 2018

By: Vidhya Shailesh, SoulKids Program manager, www.soulkids.org 

Exam time can be a stressful time for children. The burden of expectation from themselves and their parents, peer pressure, performance anxiety can all lead to stress among children. Children need the support and understanding of their parents the most during this stressful time.

Here are a few simple guidelines for you to support and help alleviate stress for your children during this period.

1. Don’t add to their stress

Make sure as parents, you are a source of comfort for them rather than adding onto their stress. Have realistic expectations of your children and try not to impose your own expectations on them. Let them know it is normal for them to feel nervous and talk to them to help them release their own anxiety. Frequent talks, simple breathing exercises, keeping track of their own study progress can all help them feel better.

2. Follow a healthy eat and sleep routine

Support them by helping them eat regular meals, which are healthy. Ensure they get enough sleep. A rested mind is several times more effective than a tired mind.

3. Encourage them to organize their study time and take regular breaks

Organized children feel more in control and chances are they will be less stressed out. Help your children create a study timetable. Help them do it themselves and resist the urge to create one for them. If children create their own timetables that they are comfortable with, they are more likely to stick to it. Ensure there are sufficient breaks in between. Encourage them to exercise, go for short walks, and play something, read a book during their breaks. Breaks must that help them rest their minds so they feel more refreshed.

4. Help them take ownership and responsibility for their work

Children have to take responsibility for their own performance. Only then will they be willing to put in effort on their own accord. Constantly pushing them to study will only cause them frustration. Guide them to this understanding. Children who are motivated and self-driven are the ones who take responsibility for their actions. To this effect, help them set achievable goals for themselves.

5. Remind them to focus on the task at hand

An important aspect of time management is to remind them to focus on the task at hand. The idea of upcoming exams can overwhelm children and they can loose sight of what they need to focus on. By getting distracted with the many exams they must give, their efforts only get dissipated. Remind them to focus on the tests one at a time.

Children must learn and understand that only efforts produce results. They must also understand that scores are a feedback to help you understand what you need to work on. Appreciate their efforts rather than focusing on the results.

At SoulKids® we teach children that there is no substitute for hard work. Only with hard work and focus, can results be accomplished. It is natural for children to feel anxious and worried about their exams. Keep the focus on the effort and learning and not on the results. Keep a positive mindset and attitude and encourage them to do the same.

To find out more about our programs and one-on-one coaching, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org.

Register your children for our transformational programs or coaching sessions and help them create their own happiness and success.

Inner Stress Relief – How to manage your Stress? By Vikas Malkani

The word 'stress' originates from the French word 'estrece' meaning 'narrowness' and is used to depict a limiting or constriction of your power and abilities. You have the feeling of being emotionally and mentally stressed out when you think you have too much to handle.

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Anything viewed negatively has the potential of causing stress in your life regardless of what the thing may be. However, what makes one person stress-full may be quite an ordinary event for another. The secret to releasing stress is to realize that stress therefore is created not by the event or circumstance itself but by the way we respond to what happens to us in any moment of our life. We are the creators of stress and it we alone can provide the solution to it.

In essence, stress is the result of the way you think. And if you develop the ability to change the way you think, you will have in your hands the power to eradicate the stress that you feel.

Here are 3 easy ways to manage the inner stress you may encounter :

1. Act, then Detach

Trying to control every moment and outcome of your life causes more stress and disharmony than any other process.

Take the action the present moment requires, and once the action is done, stop clinging to the results. After your best is done, step back and wait for the results to arrive, then respond to them.

It’s the constant clinging and worry about the results that is the primary creator of stress.

Do your best, then Let-go, and become stress-free.

2. Meditate

You always have two choices in every situation – either curse the darkness, or light a candle. Meditation helps you to train your mind to choose the more positive attitude, always, regardless of the situation. 

Negative thinking produces stress and thinking positively releases it. Remember that stress arises out of the way you think, and since meditation is the skill of training your mind, meditation is also one of the most effective antidotes to stress.

Find a good teacher, and learn to meditate. And whatever the situation, keep your mind focused on the positive outcome you want to achieve, rather than the negative outcome you want to avoid!

3. Chunk it down!

Do things one at a time. Don’t be too concerned about how much there is to do, or how overwhelming some of the tasks seem. Just get one thing done at a time, again and again. Keep your mind focused on the one action you can take now, and do what’s in your power. One step at a time you can climb the highest mountain, and one step at a time you can accomplish the greatest task.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So chunk it down and you will accomplish more with greater ease.

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Centre for Meditation, Mindfulness & Stress-Management.

For details of our training programs, connect to www.soulcentre.org

Outer Stress Relief - How to manage your environment

Just for a moment "STOP" and think about your home, your office, your environment that you spend so much time in.

How does it feel to you?

Does it fill you with happiness, joy and peace, or is it chaotic, confused and cluttered?

Your external environment plays a significant role in your internal environment and your thoughts, your emotions and actions are all influenced by it.

With today’s fast paced world, we excel at being busy, and sometimes our environment is not a priority to us.

Also we are turning into a nation of shop-a-holics and hoarders and soon every available space is stuffed full of "possessions" and all this stuff literally wears us down, as we need to take care of it all.

So make a decision to take control of your environment.

Simplify - Simplify - Simplify is the motto!

Start with the front door / your home or office entrance, and take a look at what story it is telling to the world.

The beautiful energy of the universe enters into your space through this door, so make a point of welcoming it with appreciation and love.

5 TOP TIPS:

1. Clear away any clutter that block the energy entering into your home (both inside and outside the main door).
2. Ensure all plants are healthy, vibrant and alive.
3. Spruce up the paintwork and make the door welcoming.
4. Clean the space – a sparkling clean door and entrance is so welcoming.
5. Make it bright and attractive.

Once you do this, notice the difference.

Change will happen within a few days.

Don’t believe me? Then try it … it's amazing and it works.

How to manage post holiday stress?

The holiday are over and it's time to get back to the daily routine, which for many of us does not fill us with glee.

Do you have that feeling that life has to be more than simply working to pay the bills?

Is your inner voice shouting out all the things in your daily life that you do not enjoy, all the mundane and boring tasks that have to be done?

It is chattering non-stop and robbing your happiness and peace?

As you go about your daily activities are you constantly thinking of the fun times you had on holiday – of the freedom of walking on the beach – of the relaxed evenings with no e-mails / phones or agendas, waking up with nothing to do apart from have fun….

If you can relate to the above then the chances are you are starting to feel stressed inside, and it's time to take action to stop this before it becomes real.

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A few tips from our resident stress experts at SoulCentre:

• Accept reality - Understand that whatever is happening in your life at this moment is a choice you made – so do not fight with it – simply accept it, this way you will be able to manage the situation in a more calm manner.
• Do not focus on the past - The holiday is over; it was fun at that moment in tIme, however it is now in the past. If you live this moment wanting what has passed, then you will become unhappy in this moment. Once you realise this then you simply focus on this moment with awareness and see the positives in this moment.
• Count your blessings and focus on what is good at this moment in your life - You were able to take a holiday and to travel to a lovely place; this is truly a blessing that many cannot afford.
• Plan in “me time” – simply get out your diary and block in at least 2 hours a week as “me time”. During this time do whatever you desire as a treat to yourself.
• STOP – look at the thoughts in your mind - Are they positive and serving your happiness? If not then change them; no one wants to be unhappy, so choose positive thoughts that serve you. For example you can think about planning a future break, you can think about the faces of those you love, about nature, about your favourite food… Whatever it is simply switch and focus on what makes you feel happy.

At SoulCentre we keep you stable in the storms of life.

We teach techniques and provide tools that support you in life.

We tell you stories that stay with you forever and ones where simply by hearing them you understand the lessons of life.

Life is a gift – Celebrate it!

What is Mindfulness Meditation?

A lot of confusion exists about what meditation and mindfulness really are, is there a difference between them, and what’s their purpose and benefits. So let me take a few minutes of your time and bring some clarity.

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Meditation is an ancient path that consists of wisdom, techniques and practice, and allows you to manifest the life that you choose. It also empowers you to create a life full of happiness, inner freedom, fulfilment and purpose.

Meditation is thousands of years old, predates the world’s major religions, is scientific and systematic, and has been used by people and cultures across the ages. Unfortunately, as religions become embedded in local populations, this ancient path of living your highest life came to develop a strong religious flavour. The non-religious masters retreated into the background and the religious teachers took centre stage.

Many great individuals used this wisdom, including the young prince Siddhartha Gautama, who later went on to be known as the Buddha, the Awakened one. In his years of teaching, he selected and used a few techniques from this vast science, which continued even after his passing under the label of ‘Buddhist Meditation’. These include vipasana, ana-pana-sati, and more, all of which existed before Buddha, but now came to be packaged differently.

Buddhism spread across the world and eventually found root in the fertile soil of young American minds. A minute number of Americans were eager to try it, but the large population stayed away from participating, because of the strong religious packaging these techniques were presented in.

In 1979, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn secularized one particular type of Buddhist meditation and renamed it mindfulness. Over the next 30 years, that simple act successfully spread a small part of meditation to thousands of individuals from all fields of life, and into hundreds of hospitals and other medical facilities worldwide.

To summarize, meditation is the whole book on how to live your intended life, with many chapters, and mindfulness is one of the chapters in the book of meditation.

A little more on Mindfulness –

In essence, mindfulness is about paying total attention and awareness to something, without judgement. These can include our experience of the present moment, our own bodies, our thoughts and emotions, our unseen assumptions and our conditioned habits of mind and behaviour.

With the hectic lives we lead today, when was the last time you were able to slow down and breathe, much less pay attention to the present moment? I bet it’s been awhile. In fact, on most days you’re probably feeling so overwhelmed, worried and stressed that you’re happy just to make it through another day.

In the past 35 years, meditation in various forms (including mindfulness) has found its way into the mainstream of medicine, health care, and psychology, where it has been broadly applied and continues to be studied through clinical research and neuroscience.

In fact, in recent years, meditation and mindfulness have also begun to move into business environments, sports performance, the armed forces and even astronauts.

Mindfulness is being conscious of what you’re feeling, more intentional about your behaviors, and more attentive to the impact you have on others. Start using mindfulness meditation and you will see benefits such as improved focus, greater control over stress, balanced emotions, stronger immune system, a clear mind and many more…

But don’t just take my word for it. There’s plenty of scientific research that backs up what I am saying, and I am happy to show you how to make the benefits real in your life too!

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Personal Development Centre for meditation, mindfulness and stress management.

Attend our popular ‘Meditation Made Simple’ program and understand how meditation and mindfulness can benefit your life tremendously.

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Life Coaching – How does it help me?

Do you ever feel as if life is simply passing you by and you are not really living the life you dreamed of?

This happens to all of us at some point in time and often it is because we have stopped really focussing on what we want to get out of life. Instead we start to please others and do what is expected of us, fulfilling the multiple roles that we have taken on and end up like a hamster running round and round on a wheel without much thought to where or what we are doing.

So at this moment, as you are reading this blog, I want you to STOP and ask yourself this one question.

What do I want from my life?

Yes YOU – the person reading this

What do YOU want for YOUR life?

For one moment forget your roles, forget your kids, your job, your partner, your dog, your shopping list, your facebook account, your need to be busy… and simply think about YOU!

If you need some help with this question, then give us a call and book a one-on-one life coaching session.

So what is a Life Coach and what will a Life Coach support and guide you on?

• A life coach is someone who will ask you questions that really make you think.
• A life coach is someone you can trust.
• A life coach is someone who will push you just a bit further than you could ever imagine is possible.
• A life coach will listen to you fully and without interrupting you.
• A life coach is someone who will hold up a mirror and help you see what limiting beliefs you may be carrying.
• A life coach will not judge you.
• A life coach is someone who will see your strengths and start to build on these.
• A life coach will also support you on any weaker areas, however this will not be their focus – after all your strengths are what will take you higher.
• A life coach will help you see the patterns of your life and will give you action points to change.
• A life coach will bring change to your life for the better.

Change is EASY – it begins with one thought, followed by ACTION.

So what are you waiting for?

A fun life awaits you - maximise your potential.

Life Coaching – How does it help me?

Do you ever feel as if life is simply passing you by and you are not really living the life you dreamed of?

This happens to all of us at some point in time and often it is because we have stopped really focussing on what we want to get out of life. Instead we start to please others and do what is expected of us, fulfilling the multiple roles that we have taken on and end up like a hamster running round and round on a wheel without much thought to where or what we are doing.

So at this moment, as you are reading this blog, I want you to STOP and ask yourself this one question.

What do I want from my life?

Yes YOU – the person reading this

What do YOU want for YOUR life?

For one moment forget your roles, forget your kids, your job, your partner, your dog, your shopping list, your facebook account, your need to be busy… and simply think about YOU!

If you need some help with this question, then give us a call and book a one-on-one life coaching session.

So what is a Life Coach and what will a Life Coach support and guide you on?

• A life coach is someone who will ask you questions that really make you think.
• A life coach is someone you can trust.
• A life coach is someone who will push you just a bit further than you could ever imagine is possible.
• A life coach will listen to you fully and without interrupting you.
• A life coach is someone who will hold up a mirror and help you see what limiting beliefs you may be carrying.
• A life coach will not judge you.
• A life coach is someone who will see your strengths and start to build on these.
• A life coach will also support you on any weaker areas, however this will not be their focus – after all your strengths are what will take you higher.
• A life coach will help you see the patterns of your life and will give you action points to change.
• A life coach will bring change to your life for the better.

Change is EASY – it begins with one thought, followed by ACTION.

So what are you waiting for?

A fun life awaits you - maximise your potential.

Wisdom for the Soul

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE CARDS - SOULCENTRE

Do you ever wish you could simply find the answer to a question in life or do you ever feel a bit lost and would just love for some words of wisdom?

Well we have the solution, or as we love to say, the SOUL-ution.

SoulCentre Inspirational Words of Wisdom – Our SOUL Card series.

• Wisdom at your fingertips for you to use for any and every occasion.
• Beautiful quote cards that give you a boost in life just when you need it the most.
• Leave them on your coffee tables and pick a card whenever you need a boost.
• Put them on your walls / notice boards/ fridge to keep you inspired.
• Use them as handy post cards / notes to friends.

Available through SoulCentre – Order on line or simply just drop us an E-mail and order your set today.

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How to be truly happy - 5 Essential Secrets

Do you ever feel caught up in all the mundane things of life while happiness seems to elude you? Do you feel like life is just passing you by? Do you sometimes feel that you are doing so much but that you are not truly happy?

Life is too short to postpone happiness until the conditions are right. So if we are waiting for something is our world to be just right before we become happy, then we are keeping ourselves in an endless cycle of waiting!

Everywhere around, people are trying desperately to find their happiness in relationships, in expensive cars, mansions, overseas holidays, money, the perfect place or the perfect job – and yet after they have experienced some or all of the above, they are still not happy.

Happiness is the special sauce that makes everything else in life worthwhile. And if happiness is missing, then even a life full of wealth and health is not meaningful.

"If a person is happy, life is worthwhile" - Vikas

So how can one become truly happy?

What are the essentials to happiness?

Let me guide you to the 5 essential secrets that will create real happiness for you.

SECRET NO: 1 – START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

All of us have so much to be grateful for; it’s just that most times, we don’t realize it.

Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mindset, which will help you to accept yourself for who you really are. Remember, as your day begins, you don’t know what the day will bring to you, but you can decide what you will bring to this day! So choose to bring a grateful and happy ‘you’ to your day and see the benefits happen.

Start your day with a positive attitude and a positive mind-set. Spend 3 minutes before you get active in the morning reminding yourself what is great in your life.

Start your day on a positive note, because a spiritual law is that whatever is inside you is what comes out of you. So if you create happiness inside by being grateful, you will ooze happiness all day, which in turn will make your day a happy one!

SECRET NO: 2 – DURING THE DAY, STRENGHTEN YOUR POSITIVE MUSCLES

As your day begins to unfold, many types of things, results and people will be encountered.

No matter what comes your way, choosing to be positive will help you to stay strong within the challenge and handle it in a peaceful and powerful manner. Even when things are difficult, try being positive and strive to make the best of whatever situation you’re in. It will help make even the most challenging situations easier to bear.

So as you live your life during the day, look for the positive not for the negative.

Often, during the day, repeat positive affirmations about what you want. Do so with faith, feelings, intention and focus. Your mind is the filter for this world around you, so look for the good in every situation, and you are sure to see it.

“Don’t gain all the wealth and lose your soul” - Vikas

SECRET NO: 3 – JUST FOR TODAY, ACCEPT IMPERFECTION

It’s a fact that we all have imperfections. When we stop worrying about our imperfections and what others think about us, and just start being what we are, then we can truly offer the world the best we have. For as long as we are living a life of pretense, we are sure to be tense, and real happiness will elude us.

Moreover, you can’t expect people to be perfect all the time. Perfection comes when you’re ok with imperfection.

Our ideas about the way the world works are based, in part, upon our expectations. Those expectations color our experience, good or bad and influence our reactions and responses to just about everything and everyone that we encounter.

Expectations help us form a world view, but they can also skew that world view in unexpected and sometimes unwanted ways. The more the expectations, the more the disappointment.

Being a perfectionist will not make you happy, I promise. So ease up a little bit, check the expectations you carry and lower them if necessary, and see how much more you can enjoy life.

You will be happily surprised.

SECRET NO: 4 - TRAVEL LIGHT

Keep your mind light. Carry the good experiences with you, and the lessons from the bad experiences. Both will help you and make you a better person. But carrying negative memories will only take your happiness away.

The best short-cut to happiness is meditation, which teaches you to train your mind to be calm and happy. Never put the key of your happiness in anyone else’s hands.

“Life is not a race, don’t make it so” - Vikas

SECRET NO: 5 – HUG TODAY. IT WON’T COME BACK

So many people keep themselves constantly busy, but spend their whole life waiting to start living. And in the meantime, this beautiful gift from life called ‘today ‘is passing by forever!

Give your attention to the value of today. This day is your life, and you are alive only today! So value it, cherish it and live it fully while it is here. Because it’s soon going to be gone forever.

Take action in your life on the problems you face, if any. Any action is better than burying your head in the sand, hiding from the world, and more importantly yourself. But at the same time, don’t let your pains and problems define your experience; you also have a lot of blessings in your life, so let that be the flavor of the day!

"Create happiness, don’t wait for it!" – Vikas

Quit waiting for life to work out. Make a change and take control. You control your own happiness; don’t waste any more time waiting for it to come find you.

So embrace and HUG your life today. Bring some happiness, understanding and gratitude to your life today!

“H – Happiness; U – Understanding; G – Gratitude” - Vikas

There is always a lot in life to be happy and grateful for. Start living in the only moment that matters, right now. The more you are focused on the past or the future, the more you are missing out on happiness right now.

Pay attention to this day and make yourself truly happy, no matter what!

How to Meditate – A simple meditation technique for beginners

Many people believe that Mediation is "difficult" and have preconceived ideas about what you have to do in order to meditate.

Allow me to clear your mind and to dispel some of these myths and in doing so encourage you to meditate.

The myths are as follows:

1) Meditation is religious - This is simply not correct. Meditation predates religions and is simply a practice that brings stillness and peace to the mind. Hence all religions use it in their teachings.

2) You have to sit cross-legged to meditate - Again this is not correct. As meditation is ancient, often there were no chairs around in the good old days and so people sat on the ground and “naturally” sat cross-legged. In today’s modern world you can meditate sitting down, lying down, on a plane, walking, at your desk …you name it – you can meditate doing it.

3) It’s so hard to meditate - Again this is not correct. We learnt to walk, talk, eat, dress ourselves, drive a car…so why so we think its hard to meditate? What if I told you it was easy peasy?

4) I do not have time to meditate - If you cannot find 5 minutes in your day to meditate - then you REALLY do need to meditate! Make it a routine like brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, reading the paper. Spend less time checking Facebook and more time meditating – your life will thank-you big time.

Now for a simple technique that everyone can do – especially beginners; it's called "Anapana Sati" or meditation on the breath.

It's best to do it alone and in a space that is less chaotic than a busy office/home environment to start with. So plan 10 minutes when you can be alone and have some 

"me" time.

The technique is easy, try it and feel the difference:

• Sit comfortably / lie down (but do not fall asleep).

• Close your eyes.

• Fix your attention at the tip of your nose.

• Now simply feel your body as you breathe in and breathe out.

• Do a few breaths with awareness and see how you feel.

• Once you master this and you want to advance, you can introduce a count of 4-2-6.

• Count 4 as you breathe in – then hold for 2 – and breathe out for 6.

• Repeat this for at least 5-10 minutes and your whole energy will be calmer.

Your mind and body will benefit as a result and suddenly the world will become a calmer and happier place.

Join SoulCentre and it's team of expert meditators to take your practice to deeper levels. You will love the new you!