Strategies for helping a child cope with stress

Strategies for helping a child cope with stress

19 November 2018

By Vidhya Shailesh, SoulKids® Program Manager

Stress in the workplace is something we all as adults are familiar with. We often assume stress to be a by-product of our work and its demands. However, what we fail to understand is that stress is essentially a by-product of our own thoughts. And just as it is common among adults, children too face stress in their growing up years.

The rigors of an academic expectation, keeping up with their activities, peer pressure, social troubles, friend problems, a change in the home/school environment can all contribute towards childhood stress. The factors might be academic, social or emotional but they can all cause struggles for children. Common indicators for stress among children include poor time-management, a very emotional child that cries at the smallest issue, children withdrawing socially, being sad/upset/anxious all of the time, performance in school/activities deteriorating, increased negative self-talk, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, refusal to go to school and many others.

At the first indication of any such behavioural changes, it is necessary that as parents/ care givers we step in to help and guide the children through the issue. Parents and teachers are the first ones to observe any changes in the children’s behaviour. And when we do, we must step in to guide them through it rather than just wait for it to sort out itself.

Here are a few strategies to help children through stress.

1. Ensure children are not overloaded.

As parents, sometimes we believe we must keep children busy. While this is productive, you must observe your own children and understand what their capacity is. If you find your child struggling to manage everything, cut down on their activities. Help them pick and choose and ensure they have sufficient time in between. For older children, ensure that time is sufficient for them to catch up on their work and be on top of things. Over worked children lack enthusiasm and excitement and often everything becomes just a chore that they need to complete. Instead pick what they really enjoy and help them give their hundred percent. You will find their productivity increases and they are happier.

2. Speak to children often

Make sure you speak to them every day about the happenings at school. Let them come to you even with mundane happenings of the day. It just sets the ground for open communication and gives them the feeling that they can approach you for anything. Make sure you do not judge their ideas or inputs. Respect their views as that gives them the feeling that you are always there for them. Try not to criticize or put them down. Give them positive feedback and encourage them to seek solutions. When they are stressed, they need to see you as the person who will have a calming effect on them. Be positive and open.

3. Practice simple relaxation techniques with them.

Encourage them to find what helps them de-stress. It could be a run in the park, a game of basketball, a board game, or even some simple breathing techniques. Children require free playtime on a regular basis either with friends or by themselves. Set aside sometime for them to play. Ensure they get sufficient sleep. Rest is just as important as activity.

4. Encourage them to stay positive

Stress often is a consequence of fear. And the first thing fear does is sends your thoughts on a negative spiral. Help them recognize this pattern and understand that no matter what happens they must try and stay positive and that will help them handle the situation better.

5. Do not shy away from seeking help

At home parents are the first support system for children. However, children spend lots of their time at school and with their friends. Connect with their friends and also the parent community. Teachers can play a very important role in a child’s growing up years and their inputs can be very valuable. Work alongside the teachers and school councillors to address any issues early on. Depending on the nature of the issue, external help can also be sought. The child’s wellbeing should be a priority.

SoulKids® coaching is a wonderful way to help children through any difficulties they might be facing. Coaching is done one-on-one and is based on a friendly and positive relationship between the child and their coach. SoulKids® coaches uses a variety of different strategies to help children deal with stress and overcome them in a positive manner. A coaching relationship is highly beneficial for a child and ensures any issues are caught and dealt with at an early stage. The child’s wellbeing and happiness is always the coach’s top priority.

To find out more about our programs and one-on-one coaching, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org.

Register your children for our transformational programs or coaching sessions and help them create their own happiness and success.

Meditation in Singapore – Top 3 Benefits of Meditation

By Vikas Malkani

14th September 2016

Meditation shows you how you function, how you create your life experience and even how to choose what you want your life to be. In other words, meditation is the fastest path to understanding the mind and taking charge of your life!

The benefits of meditation are many. It works on the physical body and also goes deeper to the emotional and mental levels of the practitioner. Those who continue to learn and grow with meditation find emotional and spiritual benefits too.

Learning the ‘Meditation Made Simple’ class at SoulCentre is easy, and the meditation techniques can be practised anywhere to see quick benefits.

www.soulcentre.org

Even a few minutes a day of meditation practice brings about very important benefits. Here are the top 3 from my perspective –

1) Meditation reduces stress and improves health problems - Up to 70% of health problems are psychosomatic, that is, they have a mental origin, so it is easy to understand how control over our thoughts that meditation brings can help many of these disorders.

Meditation releases stress, which then causes our muscles to relax, including the muscular walls of our blood vessels. This means more blood can pump through the vessels and there is less resistance to the overall flow. This means less blood pressure.

In contrast, high blood pressure is recognised as a major factor in producing heart diseases and heart attacks.

2) Meditation develops a whole-brain perspective - Studies show meditation has a balancing and harmonising effect on the right and left hemispheres of the brain.

Our left hemisphere is responsible for our logical thinking. The right side is responsible for feelings. Due to fast-paced modern life, many of us tend to operate more from the left hemisphere. We think too much and analyse too much, at the expense of our feelings.

Meditation allows us to have the right balance of logical analytical thought and emotional feelings, thus helping develop a ‘whole brain’ mind-set.

3) Meditation creates happiness, compassion and gratitude - One method of meditation is mindfulness, which is all about living in the moment, rather than focusing on past regrets or future worries. Naturally, this creates feelings of relaxation, gratitude, joy and happiness. One becomes more patient and compassionate with the practice of meditation.

Relaxed blood vessels allow increased blood flow to all body parts. Increased blood flow to the brain means we feel fresher and can think more clearly.

Meditation also reduces the production of the body’s stress hormones. Studies show that hormone levels in those who practice meditation regularly are similar to those in people up to ten years younger. This is one of the reasons why meditators look and feel younger.

With regular meditation, we tend to fall asleep quicker and our sleep is deeper. This means we get a better quality sleep and wake up feeling fresher and more alive. We also feel more energetic and calmer throughout the day.

Vikas Malkani is an internationally renowned teacher of meditation classes, and the best-selling author of The ‘Little Manual of Meditation’.

For attending a meditation class with Vikas Malkani, connect to us at : info@soulcentre.org

Inner Stress Relief – How to manage your Stress? By Vikas Malkani

The word 'stress' originates from the French word 'estrece' meaning 'narrowness' and is used to depict a limiting or constriction of your power and abilities. You have the feeling of being emotionally and mentally stressed out when you think you have too much to handle.

www.soulcentre.org

Anything viewed negatively has the potential of causing stress in your life regardless of what the thing may be. However, what makes one person stress-full may be quite an ordinary event for another. The secret to releasing stress is to realize that stress therefore is created not by the event or circumstance itself but by the way we respond to what happens to us in any moment of our life. We are the creators of stress and it we alone can provide the solution to it.

In essence, stress is the result of the way you think. And if you develop the ability to change the way you think, you will have in your hands the power to eradicate the stress that you feel.

Here are 3 easy ways to manage the inner stress you may encounter :

1. Act, then Detach

Trying to control every moment and outcome of your life causes more stress and disharmony than any other process.

Take the action the present moment requires, and once the action is done, stop clinging to the results. After your best is done, step back and wait for the results to arrive, then respond to them.

It’s the constant clinging and worry about the results that is the primary creator of stress.

Do your best, then Let-go, and become stress-free.

2. Meditate

You always have two choices in every situation – either curse the darkness, or light a candle. Meditation helps you to train your mind to choose the more positive attitude, always, regardless of the situation. 

Negative thinking produces stress and thinking positively releases it. Remember that stress arises out of the way you think, and since meditation is the skill of training your mind, meditation is also one of the most effective antidotes to stress.

Find a good teacher, and learn to meditate. And whatever the situation, keep your mind focused on the positive outcome you want to achieve, rather than the negative outcome you want to avoid!

3. Chunk it down!

Do things one at a time. Don’t be too concerned about how much there is to do, or how overwhelming some of the tasks seem. Just get one thing done at a time, again and again. Keep your mind focused on the one action you can take now, and do what’s in your power. One step at a time you can climb the highest mountain, and one step at a time you can accomplish the greatest task.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So chunk it down and you will accomplish more with greater ease.

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Centre for Meditation, Mindfulness & Stress-Management.

For details of our training programs, connect to www.soulcentre.org

Outer Stress Relief - How to manage your environment

Just for a moment "STOP" and think about your home, your office, your environment that you spend so much time in.

How does it feel to you?

Does it fill you with happiness, joy and peace, or is it chaotic, confused and cluttered?

Your external environment plays a significant role in your internal environment and your thoughts, your emotions and actions are all influenced by it.

With today’s fast paced world, we excel at being busy, and sometimes our environment is not a priority to us.

Also we are turning into a nation of shop-a-holics and hoarders and soon every available space is stuffed full of "possessions" and all this stuff literally wears us down, as we need to take care of it all.

So make a decision to take control of your environment.

Simplify - Simplify - Simplify is the motto!

Start with the front door / your home or office entrance, and take a look at what story it is telling to the world.

The beautiful energy of the universe enters into your space through this door, so make a point of welcoming it with appreciation and love.

5 TOP TIPS:

1. Clear away any clutter that block the energy entering into your home (both inside and outside the main door).
2. Ensure all plants are healthy, vibrant and alive.
3. Spruce up the paintwork and make the door welcoming.
4. Clean the space – a sparkling clean door and entrance is so welcoming.
5. Make it bright and attractive.

Once you do this, notice the difference.

Change will happen within a few days.

Don’t believe me? Then try it … it's amazing and it works.

How to manage post holiday stress?

The holiday are over and it's time to get back to the daily routine, which for many of us does not fill us with glee.

Do you have that feeling that life has to be more than simply working to pay the bills?

Is your inner voice shouting out all the things in your daily life that you do not enjoy, all the mundane and boring tasks that have to be done?

It is chattering non-stop and robbing your happiness and peace?

As you go about your daily activities are you constantly thinking of the fun times you had on holiday – of the freedom of walking on the beach – of the relaxed evenings with no e-mails / phones or agendas, waking up with nothing to do apart from have fun….

If you can relate to the above then the chances are you are starting to feel stressed inside, and it's time to take action to stop this before it becomes real.

www.soulcentre.org

A few tips from our resident stress experts at SoulCentre:

• Accept reality - Understand that whatever is happening in your life at this moment is a choice you made – so do not fight with it – simply accept it, this way you will be able to manage the situation in a more calm manner.
• Do not focus on the past - The holiday is over; it was fun at that moment in tIme, however it is now in the past. If you live this moment wanting what has passed, then you will become unhappy in this moment. Once you realise this then you simply focus on this moment with awareness and see the positives in this moment.
• Count your blessings and focus on what is good at this moment in your life - You were able to take a holiday and to travel to a lovely place; this is truly a blessing that many cannot afford.
• Plan in “me time” – simply get out your diary and block in at least 2 hours a week as “me time”. During this time do whatever you desire as a treat to yourself.
• STOP – look at the thoughts in your mind - Are they positive and serving your happiness? If not then change them; no one wants to be unhappy, so choose positive thoughts that serve you. For example you can think about planning a future break, you can think about the faces of those you love, about nature, about your favourite food… Whatever it is simply switch and focus on what makes you feel happy.

At SoulCentre we keep you stable in the storms of life.

We teach techniques and provide tools that support you in life.

We tell you stories that stay with you forever and ones where simply by hearing them you understand the lessons of life.

Life is a gift – Celebrate it!

How to Meditate – A simple meditation technique for beginners

Many people believe that Mediation is "difficult" and have preconceived ideas about what you have to do in order to meditate.

Allow me to clear your mind and to dispel some of these myths and in doing so encourage you to meditate.

The myths are as follows:

1) Meditation is religious - This is simply not correct. Meditation predates religions and is simply a practice that brings stillness and peace to the mind. Hence all religions use it in their teachings.

2) You have to sit cross-legged to meditate - Again this is not correct. As meditation is ancient, often there were no chairs around in the good old days and so people sat on the ground and “naturally” sat cross-legged. In today’s modern world you can meditate sitting down, lying down, on a plane, walking, at your desk …you name it – you can meditate doing it.

3) It’s so hard to meditate - Again this is not correct. We learnt to walk, talk, eat, dress ourselves, drive a car…so why so we think its hard to meditate? What if I told you it was easy peasy?

4) I do not have time to meditate - If you cannot find 5 minutes in your day to meditate - then you REALLY do need to meditate! Make it a routine like brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, reading the paper. Spend less time checking Facebook and more time meditating – your life will thank-you big time.

Now for a simple technique that everyone can do – especially beginners; it's called "Anapana Sati" or meditation on the breath.

It's best to do it alone and in a space that is less chaotic than a busy office/home environment to start with. So plan 10 minutes when you can be alone and have some 

"me" time.

The technique is easy, try it and feel the difference:

• Sit comfortably / lie down (but do not fall asleep).

• Close your eyes.

• Fix your attention at the tip of your nose.

• Now simply feel your body as you breathe in and breathe out.

• Do a few breaths with awareness and see how you feel.

• Once you master this and you want to advance, you can introduce a count of 4-2-6.

• Count 4 as you breathe in – then hold for 2 – and breathe out for 6.

• Repeat this for at least 5-10 minutes and your whole energy will be calmer.

Your mind and body will benefit as a result and suddenly the world will become a calmer and happier place.

Join SoulCentre and it's team of expert meditators to take your practice to deeper levels. You will love the new you!

Start to gain control of your life...

As we race through our day, multitasking as we go, adding on-to our never ending "to-do list", it sometimes feels too much, and is simply overwhelming. If you ever feel like this then take a few minutes now to read these tips. Apply one or two and already you are on the road to change.

Tips to help your day become stress free:

1. Take time to be alone on a regular basis, to listen to your heart, check your intentions; re-evaluate your goals and your activities.
2. Simplify your life! Start eliminating the trivial things. Also – don’t major in minor things.
3. Say ‘No’ in a firm but kind way when asked to do something you really don’t want to do.
4. Exercise regularly! Stretching your body releases tension.
5. Learn a variety of relaxation techniques and practice at least one regularly.
6. When you find yourself angry in situations, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Anyone or anything that can make you angry is showing you how you allow yourself be controlled by expectations of how someone or something should be. When we accept others, ourselves and situations for what they are, we become more effective in influencing them to change in the way that we’d like them to.
7. If your schedule is busy, prioritize your activities and do the most important ones first.
8. Take frequent relaxation breaks.
9. Organize your life to include time for fun, spontaneity, and open spaces. Set a realistic schedule allowing some transition time between activities. Eliminate unnecessary commitments.
10. Smile and laugh more.
11. Learn to delegate responsibility.
12. Welcome change as an opportunity and challenge to learn and grow.

6 Simple ways to De-stress